"Connection"

con=nec=tion – a: the act of connecting. b: a person with whom one is associated with, as by kinship or common interests.

So here is the deal – I’ve been laying pretty low when it comes to relationships this summer. I just haven’t had the time or really the motivation to pursue one. I’ve been hanging out with some different girls. Some of them I have had a mild interest in, others just as friends.

Well there is this one girl, “K”, who at one time had my interest and then it went and then it came back and then it went, etc, etc….. you get the idea. Well anyway, she is a very good looking girl and really fun to hang out with. (Any guy would be crazy not to want to be in a relationship with her!) Well, call me CRAZY!!!

I’ve known “K” for a couple of years now. But this summer we’ve actually hung out more than we ever had. A lot of that has to do with the fact that we now live in the same town. So this summer it has basically (somewhat) just been a friendship. It’s one of those situations where she’ll give me a call and say, “I just rented so-and-so movie, have you seen it? If not come on over.” Or I’ll send her a text and ask if she is hungry for pizza and will go grab some food over a beer. Or maybe she’ll send me a text that says, bad day at work! Margarita??? Very casual, nothing official! In fact, I think the word “date” has only been used once or twice and mainly in a joking manner.

Well, last night things got a little more personal. She called me just to chat. (which she’ll do from time to time) Well during our conversation that included me laughing at her last disaster of a date she went on last week or her giving me trouble on my latest music tastes, the conversation took a weird turn.

She said something to me about going back to her hometown this weekend to hang with her family! And normally this would not have phased me, but I could tell that this was more than a “friendship” weekend.

I won’t deny that I am attracted to her and do enjoy hanging out with her. I know, I know, you are thinking – so what is the problem? Well the problem is that I just don’t feel that connection for her. I’ve had it before. In fact, 3 months ago I would have been like, “sure, count me in.” But I just don’t get that right now. There is just something missing and I can’t pinpoint what it is?

So there I was in an awkward situation. So I made up some excuse, I told her that I am golfing on Saturday and have told some buddies I would go to the fair with them on Friday. This is not really a lie because I do plan on doing all of those things. But I think if I really wanted to, I could definitely pass on the golf and the fair.

Anyway, I could tell that she sensed something was a little different after this was brought up. And I don’t want things to be awkward, I just am not interested in pursuing a relationship with her right now. (I’m not sure why, but I’m just not!) I have interests other places at this time. So hopefully things won’t change much. But we will see!

Keep on, keepin’ on
-J